Joke Book
From Atlantic Roleplay Wiki
Title: Joke Book
Author: Unknown
Drinking Contest
An Elf walks into a pub and clears his voice to the crowd of dwarven drinkers. He says, "I hear you dwarves are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give 500 gold to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of extra stout back-to-back."
The room is quiet, and no one takes up the elf's offer. One dwarf even leaves.
Thirty minutes later the same dwarf who left shows back up and taps the elf on the back. "Is your bet still good?" asks the dwarf.
The elf says yes and asks the pub keep to line up 10 pints of extra stout. Immediately the dwarf tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons cheer as the elf sits in amazement. The elf gives the dwarf the 500 gold and says, "If you don't mind me asking, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The dwarf replies, "Oh... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
Taven Joke
An Elf, a Human and a Dwarf walk into the tavern and each orders a Beer. When the three Beers arrive a fly lands in each one.
The Elf pushes the Beer away distainfully, wanting nothing to do with it. The Human flicks out the fly and finishes the Beer in one gulp.
The Dwarf gingerly picks out the fly by its wings, gently holds it over his glass and screams "SPIT IT OUT YE BASTARD, SPIT IT OUT!!
Manners
An Elf, a Gnome and a Dwarf are standing side-by-side at the urinal.
The elf finishes and proceeds to wash his hands. He is scrubbing and washing his hands clear up to his elbows. He turns to the other two and comments: Our Elders have taught us Elves to be clean.
The Gnome finishes his business and he quickly wets the tips of his fingers and comments: Our Druid Elders have taught us Gnomes to be conservative of natures resources.
The Dwarf finishes his business and heads straight for the door, He turns and comments: Our Elders have taught us Dwarves how not to piss on our hands.