Blind Man’s Outlook, Volume The Third
From Atlantic Roleplay Wiki
Title: Blind Man's Outlook, Volume the Third
Author: Britannia's Finest
Contents
Horoscope...............2
A Lost Journal........13
Interview with GreyPawn, teen heartthrob............24
Your Weekly Horoscope
by O. Mandelstam
Aries: That dog you tamed six weeks ago is wondering why you recalled away and never came back.
Taurus: Slavery has been abolished, so stop saying you "own" people.
Gemini: I forsee a true white haired, jet black mare riding, glacial staff holding stranger in your future. He will call you a "newb."
Cancer: Your local bank teller is beginning to wonder why everyone stopped shouting "recsu resdu."
Leo: Your constellation feels greatly worn. Why don't you ever visit anymore?
Virgo: In a delicious fit of irony, you decide to name your dragon "all."
Libra: You begin to suspect that the tillerman you hired has 87,598 identical twin brothers.
Scorpio: Your profile says alot about you. In your case, it says "I can't spell."
Sagittarius: You will make many new friends this week. Unfortunately, they are all poison elementials.
Capricorn: Your honeymoon will turn sour when you find out that you married an NPC.
Aquarius: This week you will finally discover the source of your insomnia...you have been using a "pillow of night eyes."
Pisces: You will find yourself in some trouble when you figure out that instead of greater heal potions, your alchemist has sold you a different kind of "unknown yellow liquid."
The Journal of Glorious Lord XxXSaJiNnXxX'
Discovered by Jerome, filthy beggar January 1st, 2001 Dude, I wuz in Destard, when these dudes wuz trying to tame a dragon. They wuz sayin stoopid stuff like "Come, fair beast, accompany me on my jouney to rid the land of evil." So I shows them my tamin' macro "U my bitch now, drag0n!" And they started callin' me a kewl do0d and stuff, so I provoked that dragon onto a wyvern, and den I peaced it and cast invis and it ganked them! They got r0xx0red!
Februrary 4th, 2001.
My friend said "d00d, wit dat dragon, you can go to Fel and the pk's won't mess wit you!" So I goes to the Moongate, n' end up outside Britian, when dis guy is blocking the gate, yo! So I call a GM to ban his newb azz, but when I went AFK, they stole all my stuff, yo! I lost my regs, my vanq spear, all my stuff, but I bet de dude got banned, yo!
February 5th, 2001
So I wuz goin to join factions, yo, and I wuz walking to Yew wit my dragon, cuz I don't have any Fel runes. I went by the orc fort, and my dragon, Biatch, was tearin' up dem orcs, yo! Den dese n00bs callin' themselves "orcs" walk out and tell me to "Gib lulty to de Bloodgod!" I wuz like "Dude, u can't spel!" And den dey all attacked me, but I wuz guarded. Den dis one orc opened up a gate, an I knows they were gonna leave, yo, but he wuz stupid and jus stand behind the gate, an my dragon went to go kill him, yo, and went thru the gate!
Then I got gang-ganked. I called the GM and he didn' do shit - they didn't gank my dragon, they used a bug, dood! I hate OSI, I'm leavin!
A Conversation With GreyPawn
by Nai
Nai: Hello,
Greypawn. I'd like to ask a few questions of you for the next edition of Blindman's Outlook.
Grey: That's that humorist book, isn't it?
Nai: Hardly, Grey. It's a valuable source of information, some call it a "tabloid".
Grey: Oh no...
Nai: Hmm?
Grey: Well, what did you want to ask me, Nai.
Nai: What is your take on the Ebon Skull?
Grey: You already know what I think about the Ebon Skull.
Nai: Humor me, Grey.
Grey: *sighs* fine. I think that they are a horrible blemish on Sosaria. They perpetrate that which goes against everything that life, love and liberty mean. I cannot abide by their deceit and wickedry any more than you, Co-Sage.
Nai: Ehem. Yes, that is well understood, but pretend, for a moment, I'm just a reporter.
Grey: Hmm...Allright
--Greypawn smacks Nai with his staff--
Nai: OW! *rubs his cranium* What was that about?? Grey: You told me to pretend you were just some reporter. I'm very busy, and if you were, in fact, just some reporter, I would be sorely tempted to bludgeon you with my staff.
--Nai clubs Greypawn over the head with his own staff--
Grey: OWWW!!! You villain! Picking on a poor old man!
Nai: I wasn't picking on a poor old man. I was reacting as a poor reporter would who had just been clubbed over the head.
Grey: Kal Vas Flam
Nai: ....err.......
Grey: Por Corp Wis
Nai: Good Heavens! Greypawn is a Shadowlord!!!
Grey: I most certainly am not!!
Nai: You are so! You said Por Corp Wis!!
Grey: AH HA!! The scoundrel is revealed!
Nai Asonod is a Shadow Lord!!
--Nai smacks Grey with his staff again--
Grey: Allright, you were going to ask me something important?
Nai: Nope.
Grey: Ahh, good. Can I go back to my sagely duties now?
Nai: No.
Grey: Oh? Why not?
Nai: Because I am taking you to stand trial in Yew for being a covert Shadow Lord.
Grey: Allright, that's enough of that.
Nai: Come on, Grey.
Grey: Hey! Let go!